Saturday, January 28
> Gong Xi Fa Cai
I just got back from lunch with Wayne and i got locked outta the house. Well, not exactly because my bro was at home but he refused/didnt bother/didnt know and didnt open the damn door to let me in especially when i was in an urgent need to use the loo.
Thanks Kor, you're really wonderful man.
Despite the multiple phone calls home and his handphone, the incessent ringing of the doorbell and constant barking of my dear Ebony, he remained sitted in his comfy chair and didnt move an inch. What sial. Thank goodness i caught a glance of my sis returning home from downstairs, if not i would have gone crazy.
Anyway, an advanced happy Lunar New Year to all. May you people collect tons and tons of red packets and win lotsa money. And may i win lotsa money in my mahjong games too. YeeeHaaaaaaaaaaa
I stupidly brought home the shop keys so i had to wake up super early this morning to make a trip down to my workplace and pass Sally the keys. Helped my mom with some of tonight's dinner and red packets. Now im feeling tired and i wanna go to bed but my room is not packed and its super duper messy, like always.
I dont feel that excited over new year this year. Mom said because im older now, it really doesnt mean much anymore. Except for the fact that i can now indulge in lotsa late night mahjongs, which is something i really love to do. Gambling queen? Nah, just an inheritance from dad. lol
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I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold on
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I just got back from lunch with Wayne and i got locked outta the house. Well, not exactly because my bro was at home but he refused/didnt bother/didnt know and didnt open the damn door to let me in especially when i was in an urgent need to use the loo.
Thanks Kor, you're really wonderful man.
Despite the multiple phone calls home and his handphone, the incessent ringing of the doorbell and constant barking of my dear Ebony, he remained sitted in his comfy chair and didnt move an inch. What sial. Thank goodness i caught a glance of my sis returning home from downstairs, if not i would have gone crazy.
Anyway, an advanced happy Lunar New Year to all. May you people collect tons and tons of red packets and win lotsa money. And may i win lotsa money in my mahjong games too. YeeeHaaaaaaaaaaa
I stupidly brought home the shop keys so i had to wake up super early this morning to make a trip down to my workplace and pass Sally the keys. Helped my mom with some of tonight's dinner and red packets. Now im feeling tired and i wanna go to bed but my room is not packed and its super duper messy, like always.
I dont feel that excited over new year this year. Mom said because im older now, it really doesnt mean much anymore. Except for the fact that i can now indulge in lotsa late night mahjongs, which is something i really love to do. Gambling queen? Nah, just an inheritance from dad. lol
----------------------------------------------
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold on
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:22:00 pm
___________________________________________
Friday, January 27
> Life a complete change; degraded.
I feel that ive degraded myself ever since i dont know exactly when. I used to be a girl, who loves to put on airs (in a sense, very dao) and have very high expectations of every thing. Im such a perfectionist, i want things to be perfect and i feel a need to be perfect. Therefore, i had a lot of to-dos and not-to-dos in my personal agenda for life. I stick strongly and tightly to my own principles and rules and regulations which i know for sure i would not break. But time and time again, i found myself doing things that i know i wouldnt and shouldnt do.
And why is that so?
I realised that there are certain things that are beyond my control, and i dont like it. Because i like to be in control, and i wanna control how i want my life to be.
People say that its only natural i do things which i dont see myself doing. People say that its normal that such things happen. I agree too. Im very open minded about such things, but only to other people, not myself. I dont understand why am i downgrading myself when i know i should constantly be upgrading and be everyone's envy.
Is this called growing up? I do not know. But i know for sure, ive changed.
Like what Eunice said "after one time, there will be more times." Like what Kelvin said "In time to come, i wouldnt be hearing you saying the same thing, but something of the total opposite."
Was it Kelvin that changed and made a complete upsidedown difference in my life? Or was it myself? Was it my own depressed condition and tiredness over countless failed romance that i feel so jaded of being myself?
I really do not know.
Tell me, what kind of girl should i be? Dont tell me to be myself, because ive failed to know who am i, and what am i. I dont even know what is myself, needless to say be myself.
At this instance, i really felt like giving myself a tight slap on both cheeks and scold myself till i break down and cry till im breathless.
Would that even make me feel better? I doubt so.
Im someone who gets affected very easily upon hearing what people say about me. And that sucks totally.
Nobody is perfect, and i wanna be nobody.
I feel that ive degraded myself ever since i dont know exactly when. I used to be a girl, who loves to put on airs (in a sense, very dao) and have very high expectations of every thing. Im such a perfectionist, i want things to be perfect and i feel a need to be perfect. Therefore, i had a lot of to-dos and not-to-dos in my personal agenda for life. I stick strongly and tightly to my own principles and rules and regulations which i know for sure i would not break. But time and time again, i found myself doing things that i know i wouldnt and shouldnt do.
And why is that so?
I realised that there are certain things that are beyond my control, and i dont like it. Because i like to be in control, and i wanna control how i want my life to be.
People say that its only natural i do things which i dont see myself doing. People say that its normal that such things happen. I agree too. Im very open minded about such things, but only to other people, not myself. I dont understand why am i downgrading myself when i know i should constantly be upgrading and be everyone's envy.
Is this called growing up? I do not know. But i know for sure, ive changed.
Like what Eunice said "after one time, there will be more times." Like what Kelvin said "In time to come, i wouldnt be hearing you saying the same thing, but something of the total opposite."
Was it Kelvin that changed and made a complete upsidedown difference in my life? Or was it myself? Was it my own depressed condition and tiredness over countless failed romance that i feel so jaded of being myself?
I really do not know.
Tell me, what kind of girl should i be? Dont tell me to be myself, because ive failed to know who am i, and what am i. I dont even know what is myself, needless to say be myself.
At this instance, i really felt like giving myself a tight slap on both cheeks and scold myself till i break down and cry till im breathless.
Would that even make me feel better? I doubt so.
Im someone who gets affected very easily upon hearing what people say about me. And that sucks totally.
Nobody is perfect, and i wanna be nobody.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:50:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, January 22
> The One @ One fullerton
Im getting quite sick of clubbing already. It not as if im a hardcore clubber that goes clubbing weekly, but after tonight, i had this sudden feel that clubbing is boring.
The last time i went clubbing was with Angie, to Zouk + MoMo and i got pretty wasted. And that was like about 2 months back already. Heading to The One today is an impromptu idea. I was kinda excited to go initially, but halfway through, i got so bored i fell asleep.
I cant believe it!! I actually sat there at the table, and slept. -.-" No idea if i was too tired, or it was really such a bore.
But i dont think i will be going clubbing again so soon.
Out of a sudden, i just lost all interest in dancing.
And that pretty much suck. How can my strong passion for dance fade out of the blue?! It happened about 5 years ago, and its happening again now. I even quit dance in TP, just to create more free time for myself. Dancing doesnt seem like a way for me to feel liberated anymore, it sort of became a burden. And that really suck.
Shopping with Celine in town this noon after the dance performance in TP was good. Saw that familiar face again. Made my heart skipped a beat. Oh whatever.
Off to have my bath. House viewing tomorrow. I still have no idea if i should choose the condo or the car. =(
Im getting quite sick of clubbing already. It not as if im a hardcore clubber that goes clubbing weekly, but after tonight, i had this sudden feel that clubbing is boring.
The last time i went clubbing was with Angie, to Zouk + MoMo and i got pretty wasted. And that was like about 2 months back already. Heading to The One today is an impromptu idea. I was kinda excited to go initially, but halfway through, i got so bored i fell asleep.
I cant believe it!! I actually sat there at the table, and slept. -.-" No idea if i was too tired, or it was really such a bore.
But i dont think i will be going clubbing again so soon.
Out of a sudden, i just lost all interest in dancing.
And that pretty much suck. How can my strong passion for dance fade out of the blue?! It happened about 5 years ago, and its happening again now. I even quit dance in TP, just to create more free time for myself. Dancing doesnt seem like a way for me to feel liberated anymore, it sort of became a burden. And that really suck.
Shopping with Celine in town this noon after the dance performance in TP was good. Saw that familiar face again. Made my heart skipped a beat. Oh whatever.
Off to have my bath. House viewing tomorrow. I still have no idea if i should choose the condo or the car. =(
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:52:00 am
___________________________________________
Friday, January 20
> Byebye Marine Parade.
Its confirmed. We're moving out of Amberville. No more living around Marine Parade, the area i grew up in. I really hope the en-bloc wasnt a successful one because i really love staying in this neighbourhood. But its now confirmed, and we're all moving out. Bye bye Marine Parade.
Its 10 minutes walk to Parkway Parade (which happens to be where i work), 10 minutes bus ride to Suntec and Marina Square, 15 minutes bus ride to Bugis Junction, 15 minutes bus ride to Kallang MacDonalds, 20 minutes bus ride to Plaza Singapura, 20 minutes bus ride to the Airport, 30 minutes bus ride to Orchard, 40 minutes bus ride to Hougang, 45 minutes bus ride to Tampines Mall and there's also buses to all places around Singapore, from the East to the North to the West.
I so love staying at where i am now and i dont wish to move out.
I remembered i was pretty ecstatic when i moved over to my current residence about 5 years ago. Its double storey and faces the sea. Its pretty spacious and comfortable. And i made a really great friend cum neighbour over here.
I so love staying at where i am now and i dont wish to move out.
Now i have to make a choice. Initially, i told dad that i wanna move into a condo because i wanna make use of the swimming pool for my weekly dose of vitamins D and the gym whereby i can do some toning up. Dad agreed. But, the condo he likes, so happen to be at Simei, WHICH IS SO FREAKING FAR AND INACCESSIBLE LAH!! AND I DONT HAVE CLOSE FRIENDS LIVING IN SIMEI!!
I dont want to live in Simei!! I wanna continue living in Marine Parade!!
Then, mom gave me another option. She said "xuan, you tell daddy to move into HDB, then we will have excess money to buy you a car".
FREAKING TEMPTING IDEA la mom. Now im in a dilemma.
What should i do? Which should i choose? Condo? Car? Condo? Car? Condo? Car? I WANT BOTH CAN?!?!?!
Ive never lived in a HDB, and i really dont feel like moving into a HDB. My mom feels that its more practical this way because this will most prolly be the last time we're moving. And in a few years time, sis and i would get married and move to somewhere else. No idea about my bro, but the house would only be left with mom and dad. So what for we move into a condo with 5 rooms? Its too big for the 2 of them, and when they get older, they're not gonna enjoy living in a big house. So quiet and lonely.
But before that happens, i would still be living with them for another 6 or 7 years what!!
I really wanna drive, best if i have my own car. Because why? If i were to really move into Simei, its gonna be so inaccessible and far from town and friends, my expenses on mid night cabbing would be damn high lah! Although dad said he would let me drive his car, i dont really believe him because i know his car is his baby.
How how how?!?!?! Car or Condo? Which would you choose?
=(
I wanna continue staying here if there's a chance. But no, i dont have such a chance.
Its confirmed. We're moving out of Amberville. No more living around Marine Parade, the area i grew up in. I really hope the en-bloc wasnt a successful one because i really love staying in this neighbourhood. But its now confirmed, and we're all moving out. Bye bye Marine Parade.
Its 10 minutes walk to Parkway Parade (which happens to be where i work), 10 minutes bus ride to Suntec and Marina Square, 15 minutes bus ride to Bugis Junction, 15 minutes bus ride to Kallang MacDonalds, 20 minutes bus ride to Plaza Singapura, 20 minutes bus ride to the Airport, 30 minutes bus ride to Orchard, 40 minutes bus ride to Hougang, 45 minutes bus ride to Tampines Mall and there's also buses to all places around Singapore, from the East to the North to the West.
I so love staying at where i am now and i dont wish to move out.
I remembered i was pretty ecstatic when i moved over to my current residence about 5 years ago. Its double storey and faces the sea. Its pretty spacious and comfortable. And i made a really great friend cum neighbour over here.
I so love staying at where i am now and i dont wish to move out.
Now i have to make a choice. Initially, i told dad that i wanna move into a condo because i wanna make use of the swimming pool for my weekly dose of vitamins D and the gym whereby i can do some toning up. Dad agreed. But, the condo he likes, so happen to be at Simei, WHICH IS SO FREAKING FAR AND INACCESSIBLE LAH!! AND I DONT HAVE CLOSE FRIENDS LIVING IN SIMEI!!
I dont want to live in Simei!! I wanna continue living in Marine Parade!!
Then, mom gave me another option. She said "xuan, you tell daddy to move into HDB, then we will have excess money to buy you a car".
FREAKING TEMPTING IDEA la mom. Now im in a dilemma.
What should i do? Which should i choose? Condo? Car? Condo? Car? Condo? Car? I WANT BOTH CAN?!?!?!
Ive never lived in a HDB, and i really dont feel like moving into a HDB. My mom feels that its more practical this way because this will most prolly be the last time we're moving. And in a few years time, sis and i would get married and move to somewhere else. No idea about my bro, but the house would only be left with mom and dad. So what for we move into a condo with 5 rooms? Its too big for the 2 of them, and when they get older, they're not gonna enjoy living in a big house. So quiet and lonely.
But before that happens, i would still be living with them for another 6 or 7 years what!!
I really wanna drive, best if i have my own car. Because why? If i were to really move into Simei, its gonna be so inaccessible and far from town and friends, my expenses on mid night cabbing would be damn high lah! Although dad said he would let me drive his car, i dont really believe him because i know his car is his baby.
How how how?!?!?! Car or Condo? Which would you choose?
=(
I wanna continue staying here if there's a chance. But no, i dont have such a chance.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:03:00 am
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Tuesday, January 17
> The attack of the flu bug
Yes everybody, guess what?!
Amber is sick, yet AGAIN.
Thanks David for passing me the flu bug last night. My nose has now become a waterhose, it just wont stop dripping.
Well, that sounded wrong. But im having a deadly bad flu and a little feverish. BAH.
Something is very wrong with my immune system. Why am i always falling sick? Im sick of falling sick lah.
Yesterday noon, i met Jeffrey to study at my favourite spot - Kallang MacDonalds. He left for dinner with his friends and i didnt have the mood to study. This time round, i just feel so un-motivated and the idea of giving up struck me a million times.
So i called David and see if he wanna slack around. So we went shopping at Bugis and chilled around at Starbucks, reminiscing the past when we were still young and immature before we decided to catch a sneaking couple-to-be at Can Cafe. Wahahhaa.
I didnt want to go home, though i know very well that im not fully prepared for the paper this evening. So we ended up at Kallang MacDonalds once again. I took over the wheels and started driving round and round the carpark and David taught me how to do parking which i failed very miserably.
So after the paper today, i headed down to the Airport to start mugging for the next paper tomorrow, at the same time, waiting for Kelvin to arrive. It wasnt a very fruitful one, because im still very clueless about the chapter. I am so dead. Save me alibaba!
I think im just gonna sleep and worry about the test tomorrow when i see the sun. Too sick and tired of racking and killing my brain cells.
Yes everybody, guess what?!
Amber is sick, yet AGAIN.
Thanks David for passing me the flu bug last night. My nose has now become a waterhose, it just wont stop dripping.
Well, that sounded wrong. But im having a deadly bad flu and a little feverish. BAH.
Something is very wrong with my immune system. Why am i always falling sick? Im sick of falling sick lah.
Yesterday noon, i met Jeffrey to study at my favourite spot - Kallang MacDonalds. He left for dinner with his friends and i didnt have the mood to study. This time round, i just feel so un-motivated and the idea of giving up struck me a million times.
So i called David and see if he wanna slack around. So we went shopping at Bugis and chilled around at Starbucks, reminiscing the past when we were still young and immature before we decided to catch a sneaking couple-to-be at Can Cafe. Wahahhaa.
I didnt want to go home, though i know very well that im not fully prepared for the paper this evening. So we ended up at Kallang MacDonalds once again. I took over the wheels and started driving round and round the carpark and David taught me how to do parking which i failed very miserably.
So after the paper today, i headed down to the Airport to start mugging for the next paper tomorrow, at the same time, waiting for Kelvin to arrive. It wasnt a very fruitful one, because im still very clueless about the chapter. I am so dead. Save me alibaba!
I think im just gonna sleep and worry about the test tomorrow when i see the sun. Too sick and tired of racking and killing my brain cells.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:29:00 am
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Saturday, January 14
> Friday the Thirteen
Friday the 13th was a really unlucky day. I happily went to town from David's place after my driving lessons, thinking that i would be carrying multiple big and small shopping bags and swip my Visa mini like nobody's business, buying anything that caught my fancy without even taking a glance at the price. But it all turned out that i only bought a very casual denim skirt from Forever 21 and a t-shirt from Collage which i think i would be wearing to school on Monday. WTH??
What happened to the fashion in Singapore? I cant find anything nice at all. Either that or all the sizes are too big and it looks weird on me even when i was trying the smallest size. We walked from Cine to Heeren to Taka to Wisma to Far East to Pac Plaza to Wheelock (to get my birkis but it was closed by then) and then back to Far East then to Cine. It was THAT bad, like extremely BAD.
I was so upset, or rather, very pissed off because there was nothing i could buy when i have the money. And when im broke, all the nice stuffs appear, which i couldnt afford to splurge on. Why sia. Damn moody can.
Two nights back, i was chatting on the phone with Jeffrey (from TP). It was a good one and a half hours, and i realised many things. Very very affected, very very jealous, very very upset. Period.
You know, i really wonder who reads my craps. Its pretty scary when people who reads my stuffs know who i am or how i look like, but yet i dont even know their existence. Maybe i should stop blogging. But ive been doing so since i was 14. Or maybe, i should change my url and make it private. hmmmm..
Oh anyway, im so glad this Valentine's day is on Study Week!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I NEED NOT RISK MY FEAR OF SEEING LOVEY DOVEY COUPLES HOLDING HANDS AROUND IN SCHOOL AND GIRLS RECEIVING BIG BOUQUET OF FLOWERS AND PRESENTS. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Its gonna be my 5th year to spend this day ALONE (besides the fact that i spent it with Kenny bro for a 2 years or so). Every Valentine's day, my sis would come home with gifts and presents. But im always home empty-handed. Then my mom will start asking "why no presents? No boyfriend huh? Why so poor thing never celebrate Valentine's day?"
And so, i hate to stay home on this day. Neither do i like going out so as to see many loving couples hand in hand walking down the streets. This year, im gonna spend it at Kallang MacDonalds, mugging my day away, alone.
Friday the 13th was a really unlucky day. I happily went to town from David's place after my driving lessons, thinking that i would be carrying multiple big and small shopping bags and swip my Visa mini like nobody's business, buying anything that caught my fancy without even taking a glance at the price. But it all turned out that i only bought a very casual denim skirt from Forever 21 and a t-shirt from Collage which i think i would be wearing to school on Monday. WTH??
What happened to the fashion in Singapore? I cant find anything nice at all. Either that or all the sizes are too big and it looks weird on me even when i was trying the smallest size. We walked from Cine to Heeren to Taka to Wisma to Far East to Pac Plaza to Wheelock (to get my birkis but it was closed by then) and then back to Far East then to Cine. It was THAT bad, like extremely BAD.
I was so upset, or rather, very pissed off because there was nothing i could buy when i have the money. And when im broke, all the nice stuffs appear, which i couldnt afford to splurge on. Why sia. Damn moody can.
Two nights back, i was chatting on the phone with Jeffrey (from TP). It was a good one and a half hours, and i realised many things. Very very affected, very very jealous, very very upset. Period.
You know, i really wonder who reads my craps. Its pretty scary when people who reads my stuffs know who i am or how i look like, but yet i dont even know their existence. Maybe i should stop blogging. But ive been doing so since i was 14. Or maybe, i should change my url and make it private. hmmmm..
Oh anyway, im so glad this Valentine's day is on Study Week!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I NEED NOT RISK MY FEAR OF SEEING LOVEY DOVEY COUPLES HOLDING HANDS AROUND IN SCHOOL AND GIRLS RECEIVING BIG BOUQUET OF FLOWERS AND PRESENTS. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Its gonna be my 5th year to spend this day ALONE (besides the fact that i spent it with Kenny bro for a 2 years or so). Every Valentine's day, my sis would come home with gifts and presents. But im always home empty-handed. Then my mom will start asking "why no presents? No boyfriend huh? Why so poor thing never celebrate Valentine's day?"
And so, i hate to stay home on this day. Neither do i like going out so as to see many loving couples hand in hand walking down the streets. This year, im gonna spend it at Kallang MacDonalds, mugging my day away, alone.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:45:00 am
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Thursday, January 12
> im on my own.
Days that passed had been pretty taxing for me these while. Ive been rather busy, not knowing what exactly im busy with.
Tons of deadlines to comply with, not forgetting 2 class tests, adding in the preparation and time which would be consumed for the upcoming open house. Too many things to do and too little time.
Pardon me, but im feeling really moody now. No idea why either. So many things happened within a short span of time. Things came and left, people came and left. Heard too many empty promises, seen through too many lies and hoax. Im so jaded of the things and people in my surroundings. Too wary of them. Im starting to hate people, any kind of people. Close ones or not, im starting to feel easily irritable just by seeing their faces or hearing their name.
Somehow, there's this intense hatred burning and multiplying within me. I feel very vengeful and i want my revenge. I want those who hurt me, who made me upset, who lied, who cheated, who tried to make a fool outta me to perish from my sight, to perish from this world forever.
I think i am going crazy. Under too much stress prolly.
Still contemplating if i should attend Marcel's birthday chalet on Saturday. Would be working till 9pm. By the time i reach Downtown east, it would have past 10. What's more i have 2 tests to study for and im like totally clueless about the topics taught.
But by hook or by crook, im gonna make full use of my day tomorrow, to go shopping in town with David. Aint gonna spend my day studying, cos out of the blue, i just feel jaded of mugging.
I so need a break.
Oh yes, recently, im very interested in the malay language and have been trying to make conversations with my malay friends in that language. Just some very basic words, but very amusing when i speak.
Bye for now, i need a puff.
Days that passed had been pretty taxing for me these while. Ive been rather busy, not knowing what exactly im busy with.
Tons of deadlines to comply with, not forgetting 2 class tests, adding in the preparation and time which would be consumed for the upcoming open house. Too many things to do and too little time.
Pardon me, but im feeling really moody now. No idea why either. So many things happened within a short span of time. Things came and left, people came and left. Heard too many empty promises, seen through too many lies and hoax. Im so jaded of the things and people in my surroundings. Too wary of them. Im starting to hate people, any kind of people. Close ones or not, im starting to feel easily irritable just by seeing their faces or hearing their name.
Somehow, there's this intense hatred burning and multiplying within me. I feel very vengeful and i want my revenge. I want those who hurt me, who made me upset, who lied, who cheated, who tried to make a fool outta me to perish from my sight, to perish from this world forever.
I think i am going crazy. Under too much stress prolly.
Still contemplating if i should attend Marcel's birthday chalet on Saturday. Would be working till 9pm. By the time i reach Downtown east, it would have past 10. What's more i have 2 tests to study for and im like totally clueless about the topics taught.
But by hook or by crook, im gonna make full use of my day tomorrow, to go shopping in town with David. Aint gonna spend my day studying, cos out of the blue, i just feel jaded of mugging.
I so need a break.
Oh yes, recently, im very interested in the malay language and have been trying to make conversations with my malay friends in that language. Just some very basic words, but very amusing when i speak.
Bye for now, i need a puff.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:48:00 pm
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Sunday, January 8
> Will@TP event
Here i am again. Sitting in front of this rectangular box with tons of books, papers, notes and stationeries lying around on my table. Ive been trying to do my tutorials since 4pm but i only completed 1 pathetic subject so far and im totally clueless about the others. Ive been skipping lectures and tutorials like nobody's business.
I wanted to do an update on Anisah's birthday celebration but ive been so busy lately and i havent saved the pictures yet. So im gonna push if behind and do a rough update on that when im more free.
And so, i was in school since Thursday morning at 10+ am till Friday night 9pm due to the Will@TP event. Throughout the entire event, i ran, i danced, i cheered, i shouted, i screamed, i ate, i played mahjong and i slept for only 2 hours. I was so sleepily tired, i lost my balanace and almost fell during the morning performance. very maluating leh.
So what if i only ran 3 lapse round the track? I admit i cant run for nuts and i was trying to think of a reason not to run at 3am in the morning. Im so proud of myself that i completed the 3 lapse. I didnt even think i could finish 1.
You know what's the worst thing after the entire event? It wasnt totally about the tiredness and the iwannagohomeandsleeponmybigcomfybed feeling. Its when Kai Zhuan and i shared a cab home from TP, the cab driver happened to be an ex security guard of TP, who "shared" with us all his encounters of ghosts and spirits he had in TP and the places where such stuffs are most strong at.
And the places he mentioned, so happen to be the places i would always go to or be at during camps. WTH. Kai and i kept looking at each other with the very bewildered and weird look.
I got home and knocked out on my big comfy bed at about 1030pm and woke up dreamily for work on Saturday.
Headed down to Lijuan's 21st birthday celebration at Marina Square Kbox. Met up with Nicholas close to 3am for supper. Wanted to eat at a cafe near Greatworld City but after driving at Zion Road rounds and rounds, we still couldnt find the place. We finally settled for chicken rice at 4am. I was so famished by then. Home sweet home at 5.30am and slept.
Alrighty, dinner time.
Here i am again. Sitting in front of this rectangular box with tons of books, papers, notes and stationeries lying around on my table. Ive been trying to do my tutorials since 4pm but i only completed 1 pathetic subject so far and im totally clueless about the others. Ive been skipping lectures and tutorials like nobody's business.
I wanted to do an update on Anisah's birthday celebration but ive been so busy lately and i havent saved the pictures yet. So im gonna push if behind and do a rough update on that when im more free.
And so, i was in school since Thursday morning at 10+ am till Friday night 9pm due to the Will@TP event. Throughout the entire event, i ran, i danced, i cheered, i shouted, i screamed, i ate, i played mahjong and i slept for only 2 hours. I was so sleepily tired, i lost my balanace and almost fell during the morning performance. very maluating leh.
So what if i only ran 3 lapse round the track? I admit i cant run for nuts and i was trying to think of a reason not to run at 3am in the morning. Im so proud of myself that i completed the 3 lapse. I didnt even think i could finish 1.
You know what's the worst thing after the entire event? It wasnt totally about the tiredness and the iwannagohomeandsleeponmybigcomfybed feeling. Its when Kai Zhuan and i shared a cab home from TP, the cab driver happened to be an ex security guard of TP, who "shared" with us all his encounters of ghosts and spirits he had in TP and the places where such stuffs are most strong at.
And the places he mentioned, so happen to be the places i would always go to or be at during camps. WTH. Kai and i kept looking at each other with the very bewildered and weird look.
I got home and knocked out on my big comfy bed at about 1030pm and woke up dreamily for work on Saturday.
Headed down to Lijuan's 21st birthday celebration at Marina Square Kbox. Met up with Nicholas close to 3am for supper. Wanted to eat at a cafe near Greatworld City but after driving at Zion Road rounds and rounds, we still couldnt find the place. We finally settled for chicken rice at 4am. I was so famished by then. Home sweet home at 5.30am and slept.
Alrighty, dinner time.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:26:00 pm
___________________________________________
Tuesday, January 3
> 2005? Its all gone baby.
Its 3plus in the morning now and im still not in bed. The term break had ended and ive school at 9am tomorrow. Im so not ready to start my battle with studies now, for i need some time to play and be alone for some serious matters.
Its already the 3rd day of 2006 and im feeling so depressed already. How can that possibly happen?! How am i to survive the next 362 days happily?
In 2005, many things happened..
Its 3plus in the morning now and im still not in bed. The term break had ended and ive school at 9am tomorrow. Im so not ready to start my battle with studies now, for i need some time to play and be alone for some serious matters.
Its already the 3rd day of 2006 and im feeling so depressed already. How can that possibly happen?! How am i to survive the next 362 days happily?
In 2005, many things happened..
- In Feb, i fell in and outta love with a guy whom had an interest span of me for only a fortnight. It was only till June whereby i gave up.
- In June, i met a guy who so happened to be a close friend of the previous, whom gave my life a rollercoaster ride.
- I turn 18, which allows me to flash my IC while buying ciggs/alcohol and clubbing.
- I drifted from 2 of my girlfriends, which inturn, made me realised the importance of my other close friends.
- I no longer hang out with the BBC as often anymore.
- From movies at least once a week and KTV sessions many times a month, i lost touch of them all.
- Im glad to make friends with the sentosa gang, knowing Celine and Denise better was such a bliss.
- I was in love with a guy who was almostperfecttome, but im sorry, i aint perfect. I let go of a great chance to be blissfully in love.
- Friendship with the barbies grew closer and stronger.
- I went back to work at Ebase and this time round, my colleagues are so much nicer and easier to talk to.
- I learnt how to drive.
- I studied really hard and got my hardwork paid off.
- I had quite a number of performances in school which made me love dancing even more. (but i hurt my back so i might stop dancing for a while)
- I did not have a boyfriend throughout the whole year (ignoring the fact that Leonard and i patched up)
2005 had definately left a great impact in my life but im putting all of them behind me. I deleted all my messages in my inbox this noon because i want a complete change in life and put a fullstop to everything. Im starting my life anew, so please, dont remind me of my history, my past.
I know i have a terrible past, and i really wanna move forward. Give me all the support i need, cos deep inside, im just another vulnerable girl.
Anyhoos, Happy 19th birthday Anisah! Hope you like the Guess wallet and Precious Thots figurine. Love you!
Entry of Anisah's birthday dinner would be updated in the next post (when i get the pictures).
Im so gonna force myself to sleep right now. Goodnight lovelies.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:18:00 am
___________________________________________
Sunday, January 1
> 2006 New Year celebration
Im so freaking angry because i just wrote a freaking long entry and the whole post got erased and i have no clues how that happened when i clicked on publish. )_(@#*$#()@*&@!#
As i was saying, Happy 2006 to all my dear(s). May this dog year be smooth sailing and bless all of you with lotsa love and happiness.
So, i headed down to town after work supposingly to meet the others at 8pm for dinner. But at 8pm, the rest were all still at home. Luckily Jeremy was in town, so we met up for awhile together with his friend. I was just stoning outside Lucky Plaza while they chatted. I just so happen to turn my head and saw a really familiar face. A face i havent seen and which i hope to see for a very long time. Weiquan walked towards me and we exchanged a few sentences. That very familiar face, and very familiar warm smile.
Had dinner at Kobayashi and headed down to Partyworld (not Kbox cos im damn pissed with them). Its been so long since i last sang and i couldnt wait to scream my lungs out. I love singing (though i have really awful voice)
So when the guys were singing their songs, Shalyn and i got bored and started camwhoring.
So sorry for the really lousy quality pictures, but i have a really lousy camera. *hinthint
And when we girls were singing our songs, Kenny got so bored he started snacking.
When the clock strikes 12, and David shouted "EH! 12 LIAO", we paused for like 30s, shaking hands and wishing everyone a very happy new year and reverted back to the screen to sing. wakkaka. I was so into singing my songs and when Nicholas called to wish me a happy new year i actually said "eh i call you later i singing now" in less than 5s.
Though it was just the 5 of us celebrating this day, it was still wonderful.
At 2am, we left the place and passed by Ngee Ann City to see how was Jackson's party going on.
Quite a blast i guess.
Myself and Shalyn outside the party.
Kenny left for home while we cabbed back to David's home to get the car. Headed to Downtown East supposingly to see the bengs and lians groove to Techno but when we got there, the policemen said it was close and refused to let us in. Like wtf? It was only 3am! I bet there were many gangfights in there.
So we planned to have a drinking session at Shalyn's house. But her multistorey carpark was so packed we had to park at the rooftop and walk all the way down. We got lazied and hence, lazed around the rooftop.
But we had to go when the rain pittered pattered on my head. Totally clueless where to go to and we ended up driving to a place no one would bother going on this very day.
Yes, its Temasek Polytechnic.
And we actually caught one of the security guards dozing away at the taxi stand.
WTF SIAL.
We finally made up our mind to have supper + breakfast at Heartland Mall HongKong Cafe. But upon reaching there, we changed our mind and ate Punggol Nasi Lemak instead. By the time we had our fill, it was 5.30am. I suggested witnessing the sunrise of the new year but Kevin said it was a dumb idea. -.-
So we ended up at Kevin's place. David starting dota-ing
while i played with Yuji
But i got tired soon after and fell asleep with Lyn. I reached home at only 8am. Woke up at 4pm for work, totally drained!
Yongxin popped over and gave me a belated X'mas present. A really sweet Adidas bag and a Fila top. I too gave him a top from Topman.
Gonna have my bath now and meet Nicholas later in the night. Anisah's birthday celebration tomorrow. YAY!
Im so freaking angry because i just wrote a freaking long entry and the whole post got erased and i have no clues how that happened when i clicked on publish. )_(@#*$#()@*&@!#
As i was saying, Happy 2006 to all my dear(s). May this dog year be smooth sailing and bless all of you with lotsa love and happiness.
So, i headed down to town after work supposingly to meet the others at 8pm for dinner. But at 8pm, the rest were all still at home. Luckily Jeremy was in town, so we met up for awhile together with his friend. I was just stoning outside Lucky Plaza while they chatted. I just so happen to turn my head and saw a really familiar face. A face i havent seen and which i hope to see for a very long time. Weiquan walked towards me and we exchanged a few sentences. That very familiar face, and very familiar warm smile.
Had dinner at Kobayashi and headed down to Partyworld (not Kbox cos im damn pissed with them). Its been so long since i last sang and i couldnt wait to scream my lungs out. I love singing (though i have really awful voice)
So when the guys were singing their songs, Shalyn and i got bored and started camwhoring.
So sorry for the really lousy quality pictures, but i have a really lousy camera. *hinthint
And when we girls were singing our songs, Kenny got so bored he started snacking.
When the clock strikes 12, and David shouted "EH! 12 LIAO", we paused for like 30s, shaking hands and wishing everyone a very happy new year and reverted back to the screen to sing. wakkaka. I was so into singing my songs and when Nicholas called to wish me a happy new year i actually said "eh i call you later i singing now" in less than 5s.
Though it was just the 5 of us celebrating this day, it was still wonderful.
At 2am, we left the place and passed by Ngee Ann City to see how was Jackson's party going on.
Quite a blast i guess.
Myself and Shalyn outside the party.
Kenny left for home while we cabbed back to David's home to get the car. Headed to Downtown East supposingly to see the bengs and lians groove to Techno but when we got there, the policemen said it was close and refused to let us in. Like wtf? It was only 3am! I bet there were many gangfights in there.
So we planned to have a drinking session at Shalyn's house. But her multistorey carpark was so packed we had to park at the rooftop and walk all the way down. We got lazied and hence, lazed around the rooftop.
But we had to go when the rain pittered pattered on my head. Totally clueless where to go to and we ended up driving to a place no one would bother going on this very day.
Yes, its Temasek Polytechnic.
And we actually caught one of the security guards dozing away at the taxi stand.
WTF SIAL.
We finally made up our mind to have supper + breakfast at Heartland Mall HongKong Cafe. But upon reaching there, we changed our mind and ate Punggol Nasi Lemak instead. By the time we had our fill, it was 5.30am. I suggested witnessing the sunrise of the new year but Kevin said it was a dumb idea. -.-
So we ended up at Kevin's place. David starting dota-ing
while i played with Yuji
But i got tired soon after and fell asleep with Lyn. I reached home at only 8am. Woke up at 4pm for work, totally drained!
Yongxin popped over and gave me a belated X'mas present. A really sweet Adidas bag and a Fila top. I too gave him a top from Topman.
Gonna have my bath now and meet Nicholas later in the night. Anisah's birthday celebration tomorrow. YAY!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:33:00 pm
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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